Two months

I regularly read the blog of a girl who lost someone close to her. The whole premise of the blog is to share her journey with others. It has been nearly 18 months since her loss, and yet, the depth of her grief is more than I would have imagined at this point. About two and a half months ago, I thought "Wow, all that we are hearing about is her grief, not about anything good in her life." I found myself almost tired of hearing about the hurt and pain. In fact, I almost stopped reading because of it.

Two months.
That is how long it has been
since Brenda went to her eternal home.
Two months.
The pain...still so real.
The grief...incredible.
Processing...still taking place.
Adjustments...I don't see an end.
18 months...seemed like a long time before, and now,
I can't imagine not feeling pain and grief at that time.

Much of my pondering lately has been along the lines of the tremendous amount of hurt in our world. I sat comfortably in my home a couple months ago and passed "judgement" on someone who is genuinely hurting...still. And now, I sit back and think "Wow, this kind of pain is felt all around me, and I'm usually oblivious to it." Now, my eyes and heart have been opened to feel grief in a way that I haven't before. When I see someone in the grocery store that doesn't seem to have it all together - well, it might just be that they are experiencing pain, and in fact, they don't have it all together, and that's ok. And that group of people that just walked into Baker's Square - with all the teens texting instead of talking? It is possible that they are coping with loss in their family. And, I can't even imagine what it must be like for those suffering from physical loss of home in addition to loss of family members - like those in the recent earthquakes. Indescribable.

I've been thinking that this is a bit like how I've felt since my first C-section. When I would be driven back and forth from the hospital after Nolan's arrival, we would pain-stakingly slow down for every nook and cranny in the road so I would have less physical pain. And the train tracks - give us at least two minutes to cross! Now, when our family is stuck behind someone who is taking 'forever and a day' to cross a simple railroad track - well, I have an appreciation for the reasons they might be slowing down.

Please, be sensitive with me. Open your hearts to those around you and recognize the possibility that they might be needing a more thoughtful response than the place I found myself at two and a half months ago. The road of life can be bumpy - we need to slow down and have some understanding.